Fear is one of those MindSet monsters that plays tricks on us in both our everyday lives and at the poker table. Yet, some fear is good. Like the fear that we are in physical danger-- that primal instinct that makes the hair stand up on the back of our necks, or sends a chill down our spine. Heed that fear. Listen to it. Take action to protect yourself. Fold that hand. There will be other cards to play.
Most fear that comes from our minds does not serve our best interest. When the fear MindSet grips us, it clouds our judgment and limits our choices. I just got off a coaching call with one of my clients, who was experiencing fear. I'd like to share some of that session with you.
When I asked, “What do you fear,” the answers came fast. The specifics are insignificant, much like the specifics of a poker hand are less important that what is going on in our mind at the time we take action or are frozen in our tracks.
These words stuck out: “I'm afraid I won't... I hated that... I made so many mistakes that...”
I asked again, “What do you really fear?
After a pause, this came flatly, “I'm afraid that I'll make another mistake. I fear that it will repeat again. I haven't learned to let go of my mistakes.”
Doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. That's what Albert Einstein called the definition of insanity.
Anxiety is what's
known as future-oriented fear
because we cannot control what will happen next. We make mistakes because we take action; we make mistakes when we don't take action. Sometimes we win, and sometimes we lose, and sometimes we simply mess up. That's a part of life.
Most fear is unfounded. Fear is...
I went on to ask my client, “When do you feel courageous?”
Response: “When I don't have pressure put on me.”
Donna: “From where does that pressure come?
Response: “Myself. I inflict that pressure. I know that. But I felt I've made bad decisions over the past 5 years, and the gremlin grandfather inside me lashes out at me. I allow that voice to keep talking.”
Donna: “What can you do to quieten that voice?”
Response: “Use Donna's tool... look to the right and say, 'Get off my shoulder!' Make that movement. Looking to the right and flick that voice off my shoulder. I know it works, but sometimes, I don't do that quickly enough. Now, I realize I can flick this thing off my shoulder time and time again. Just by doing that simple action three times, I feel so much better."
That's using the power of our Body-Mind connection to shift our Mindset.
Shifting our MindSet is not a once-and-done thing. It is a continual process.
We have 7 seconds to take action before a negative thought takes root. In order to be able to take action within that small opportunity window, we must first recognize that we have had a negative thought. That's the rub.
Monday MindShift Moment
Activate your Energetic Radar
- Set your intention to activate your Energetic Radar.
- Recognize you have just had a thought that does not serve you.
- In the moment you have that realization, be compassionate and forgive yourself for having the thought.
- In one smooth motion, put your right hand over your heart, move your right hand onto your left shoulder, and stretch your right hand over your left shoulder and touch your back.
- Grin broadly as you vigorously pat yourself on the back and say aloud, “Good for me! Congratulations, I have just intercepted, blocked a negative thought, and shifted my MindSet!”
In the moment that you grinned, patted yourself on your back, and exclaimed your congratulation, you have nudged that negative thought out of your mind and replaced it with uplifting energy.
Until next time remember my MindSet Motto:
Play the cards life deals you as if you have already won.